What da Duck?

Saturday, November 08, 2008

What da Duck? Current mood: pleased Category: Fashion, Style, Shopping I love me some Friday, especially when I can get off early! So after work I had some time to kill so I went to get my hairs cut. Now I am a wee bit particular when it comes to a cut. It's not just the haircut, it has to be the right atmosphere. It took me 6 months to find the last place I was happy with, so after moving to Colorado I figured I would be up for a challenge. First try, I stumbled into Floyd's Barber Shoppe. Floyd's greets you with a friendly staff and a loud soundtrack fresh off of my senior year of high school play list. The walls just like my last haunt are covered in posters of singers, rockers and crooners. For the most part the staff are young, fun and personable. Which brings me to my stylist. As soon as I sat down to wait and gazed around the Shoppe I saw her and knew I would be stuck with Tanorexic Barbie. She wanted to be twenty again. Picture big Texas hair with overdone highlights and DARK roots. Her skin was supple like two week dead in the sun Bison carcass and the color of terra cotta roof tiles. Almost like after cooking herself in tanning beds for 30 years she decided spray tanning was where it's at. Cougar Barbie finished up with her client and escorted me to her chair (a very cool replica of a 1930-40's barber chair). After asking how I wanted it She started in with the small talk. "Wasn't last night's Game crazy". I hadn't a clue. Catching the fuzzy look on my face she took another stab "The Bronco's"! I told her I wasn't into sports and that was the last word spoken to me. From that point on she spent all of her time chatting and making eyes with any piece of hanging meat that came within five feet of her web. It was like football was her litmus paper. Any man in her chair that wasn't into Football wasn't into her lady parts and wouldn't be her next baby daddy. At one point she was massaging my back with her arm stretched out as far as she could get away so she could flirt with the UPS guy at the counter. Did I forget to mention they give Vibra Massages after each cut? Love Floyd's! So after my minute at the Spa I headed home for a shower to get ready for Jerrod's Daughter's birthday dinner at Grandma's, that was a whole lot of possessives. Anywho, after dinner I ran out to the car to get my camera to capture all the magic of cake and presents. I speed walked back to the condo, whipped the door open to be greeted by a complete stranger with the strangest look of fear and confusion on her face. I'm not sure if it was My "What da Duck" shirt or that some 300lb man just burst into her living room. All I could do was laugh for a moment before apologizing and telling her I must have the wrong door. At least I gave her a good story for the water cooler Monday. Oh Christ on a Cracker don't get me started on Mondays. Hope all is well with you and yours!