An awful friend

 I think we have all at some point realized that we have made the wrong friend or are in a relationship that just isn't complementing who we are. They are usually the one that is fun to be with but leads you down a path you regret. Some shed this friend in one quick termination like ripping a bandaid from a furry patch of skin, others let them just drift silently away and swear they lost your number. This friend for me is Alcohol.

We met when I was 13, in the form of Strawberry Daiquiris from a punch bowl at a a neighbors Crystal party. I rode my mini bike home across the field with a warm buzz and my mother running behind me screaming in terror. We didn't dance again until I was 15. I was at a friends for sleepover where we snuck out to a party in the woods with a bonfire and a keg. Some of my Dads students were all to happy to help me celebrate. Keg stands seemed easy then. When I was 17 I passed out behind the wheel of my Prelude after combining a fifth of Monarch and some Sunny D. I rolled the car end for end across my PE teacher's driveway a mile and a half from home. ALWAYS wear your seatbelt.  A family friend helped scrape my belongings from the street and called my father to come rescue me. I wonder if he knows how grateful I am to this day for his help.

The bad decisions continued all through my twenties and who knows how many guardian angles. I shake my head in horror walking down this blurry memory lane of shame to write this. You will never know how thankful and blessed I feel that no innocents had to pay for those decisions. I've watched my Mom's side of the family be torn apart and crippled by the last 30 years being poured over the rocks or squeezed out of a grape. My last relationship came to an ugly end, and looking back I see that the worst of the fights usually involved that old "Friend" and that alcohol hasn't brought me joy or cheer, usually just tears and a headache. The last three times I've been out to the bar with him I didn't have more fun, and I'm usually sad as I watch great people reduced to sloppy copies of themselves.

If your'e not enjoying the journey, change the direction you're headed.

And please don't take this as preachy piece of judgement, this isn't about you. This is just me realizing who my friends really are.